New Experiences

I'm sure you're expecting this post to contain some awesome mountain bike adventure, or my story about backpacking through Eastern Europe. Well, it's not. To be perfectly honest, I'm poor, and I don't have a bike. I do aspire to go to Europe and one day acquire a bike, but for now I go to work and come home. I've learned that experiencing small new things such as, visiting a new coffee shop or learning a new skill, is just as exciting and fulfilling as a ride in a gondola through Italy. So what did I do that was so exciting that I felt the need to write about? None, other than quilting of course! 

I had always wanted to quilt, but I felt like what's the point. Believing that I wasn't capable of learning something new was a common feeling of mine. It still is. I struggle with self-confidence. I want to try so many new and different things, but I sometimes my anxiety and depression gets the better of me. I wind up just lying in bed most of the day, or playing The Sims 3. Some days it feels like I'm tied to a rope that's anchored to my house's foundation. I don't let this show. I don't want people to see my internal struggle. I'm afraid that if they do, I won't look the same in their eyes. 

So, what do you do when you need to mask your desires to just not exist in the real world? You pull your britches up and you go out into that terrifying real world. I know it may not seem like much but I made a quilt, two actually. My Aunt Tara helped me. I don't know if she saw how awkward I felt (yes, I'm awkward around my very own family), but she made me feel at home by chatting and offering me chicken. It really is the little things in life that make a difference. I drove twenty minutes from my home and started something, and finished it. It's not a large step towards internal freedom, but it's a step in the right direction.